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After individual therapy, the most common type of work I do is helping couples reconnect with the relationship they once had or achieve the relationship they've always wanted.
There is arguably nothing more important in this world than love. When we truly feel love and connection with our partner, it seems that every possibility is available to us. But first we must learn to love ourselves. Only once we've learned to love ourselves, can we then share this love with others. And, personally, I can't think of a greater joy in life than sharing love with the people closest to us.
Pre-marital Counseling
— It's Never Too Early or Too Late To Seek Help for Your Relationship
Marriage enrichment pioneer David Mace once remarked, "Marriage is the deepest and potentially the most gratifying of all human relationships, but it is also one of the most demanding. Unfortunately couples seldom have more preparation than a little advice from their parents and a new set of china."
If you're thinking about getting married but afraid the odds of a happy marriage are stacked against you, a new study shows pre-marital counseling can put the odds in your favor and help build a stronger, more successful marriage.
The research reviewed 23 studies on the effectiveness of pre-marital counseling and found that the average couple who participates in pre-marital counseling reports a 30% stronger marriage than other couples.
"After participating in these programs, couples reported or were observed to be better at resolving problems using effective communication styles, and on average, they reported higher levels of relationship quality," says researcher Jason S. Carroll, assistant professor of marriage, family, and human development at Brigham Young University. "They feel a higher sense of partnership and report a higher level of adjustment to married life than couples who did not receive pre-marital education."
Researchers say a happy marriage is one of the most important life objectives for 93% of Americans and a greater emphasis on pre-marital counseling and education is one way to help people achieve that goal. Researchers were also surprised to find the positive impact of pre-marital counseling was similar to the effects of marriage counseling for couples who were already married.
Many young couples' expectations of marriage revolve around the false belief that love will get them through rough times. While love is important, it won't be enough if you don't have the basic attitudes and skills you need for a successful marriage.
Lasting marriages require partners who respect one another, who have gained knowledge about what makes marriage work, and who have developed skills that will enhance the relationship.
Most couples face their most serious challenges during the first five years of marriage. The top ten problem areas researchers identified are:
- Balancing job and family
- Frequency of sexual relations
- Debt brought into marriage
- Husband's employment
- Finances
- Expectations about household tasks
- Constant bickering
- Communication with spouse
- Problems with parents or in-laws
- Lack of time spent together
Through conscious marriage preparation, many of these issues can be discussed and plans can be made to handle them so they don't become sources of conflict early on in a marriage.
Couples counseling and pre-marital counseling can be crucial to creating the relationship you desire and keeping it strong into the future. Like other types of prevention, the best way to stop problems and issues from arising is to be pro-active. And asking the tough questions — acknowledging where and what types of problems might arise before they do — can be the key to a lifetime of love and happiness.
For more information about how pre-marital counseling can help prepare your relationship for the next step, please feel free to contact me or call 408-475-1789 with any questions and/or to schedule a free initial consultation.
Solving Relationship Issues Together
— Couples Counseling for Relationship Success
"Six months ago, my husband of 25 years and I began living apart. We had endured decades of poor communication and broken dreams. As a last resort, I thought marriage counseling might help us to either end our marriage amicably, or teach us how to love again. My husband and I now believe that deciding to seek out couples counseling was one of the brightest moments in our marriage. We have rediscovered our love for one another and it's a healthier love than we ever shared before."
Is your conflict out of control? Are you having the same argument over and over again? Does it feel like the passion is slipping away? Do you struggle with jealousy or anger?
Whether you're working on issues in a new relationship, looking to revive the spark in an established partnership, prevent an impending divorce, or end a relationship on amicable terms, couples counseling can help you and your partner gain a better understanding of each other's wants and needs, increase mutual respect, facilitate and enhance communication, and more readily experience and express love and happiness.
Unfortunately couples typically wait approximately six years after their first signs of distress before seeking the help of a professional. The great news is that with the proper support, courage, and hard work relationships can be repaired, revitalized, and made better than ever.
Couples counseling can help you:
- Learn the delicate art of balancing your needs for autonomy and connection;
- Improve communication, feel heard and understood;
- Transform differences into the spice that keeps your relationship vibrant & healthy;
- Have higher expectations of your relationship and meet those expectations;
- Develop rituals of intimacy and connection;
- Avoid the most common and corrosive relationship habits; and
- Secure long-term satisfaction in your relationship.
Whether you have been together 2 months or 20 years, it's never too early or too late to explore, express, and secure your love for one another.
My training in marriage therapy and couples counseling, as well as my experience training at The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, allows me to provide a variety of interventions and develop creative strategies to help couples achieve their relationship goals.
I can help you develop the necessary skills for enjoying a more gratifying and rewarding relationship, and would be happy and honored to assist you in your effort toward deeper connection, understanding, and mutual support.
There is definitely truth in the old adage, "love conquers all." Research shows that couples with well functioning relationships have stronger immune systems, are less likely to get physical illnesses, and have an increased ability to handle stress and anxiety.
Long-term committed relationships are hard work, but more than worth the effort.
If you're worried about the health of your relationship, calling me may be the first step toward a closer, more fulfilling, and beautiful connection with your significant other. I am happy to answer all of your questions and offer a free initial consultation, so there's no reason to delay... Contact me today or call at 408-475-1789 to find out whether or not couples counseling can help you.
You Never Have to Go It Alone
— Relationship Counseling Success for Individuals
Many people seek couples counseling thinking that if only the other person would change everything would be okay. However, no matter how much we might like to believe otherwise, we can never change another person. We can only change ourselves.
For this reason, and despite what people may think, many relationship issues can be worked out in one-on-one individual therapy sessions.
If in you're in a relationship, but don't feel your partner and you are ready for couples therapy, individual therapy can help you recognize and understand what triggers your fears and anxieties in your relationship.
Once these emotional triggers are acknowledged and understood, psychotherapy can help you develop new communication skills, better handle relationship problems, and turn conflict into mutual respect and compromise.
Individual relationship counseling can help you remove fear, anxiety, and depression from your relationship, by using the skills you learn in therapy to develop new ways of interacting with your partner. But it is up to you to develop the skills necessary and do the work... The best I can do is to serve as a guide along your journey.
My role as a therapist is not to "fix" you or your relationship, but to be an educator, a coach, and a source of support and reflection, so you can determine your relationship needs and desires and how best to achieve them.
I can provide the support and guidance you need during relationship difficulties, and I can help you develop the tools and techniques to move beyond behaviors that are no longer serving you and your partner. Together we'll explore the issues that result in conflict in your relationship and how you can negotiate them.
The more we make conscious, the more we have access to change. So before you come in for that first session, think about these issues and where else they may have surfaced in your life and other relationships.
A strong, healthy, loving relationship provides much more than companionship and support. It encourages both partners to be their best as individuals. Fortunately, a relationship doesn't have to be perfect to work wonders!
No matter what issues you face, there is always room for personal and spiritual growth and change. Living with regrets won't help, but it's never too late to begin creating the life and relationships you want!
I have helped couples in all stages of life to improve their relationships. I can help you, too. Please feel free to contact me or call 408-475-1789 for information and/or to schedule an initial consultation.
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